Monday, July 14, 2008

Opportunity Lost

Woe is me! I cannot believe I missed something as grandly exciting as the Catfish Festival. I have this friend - really, I do have friends! He's a wonderful musician who used to tour with Off-Broadway shows and such. Now he's happily ensconced in the wonderful world of being hooked up with my best friend. To make a long story somewhat shorter, he had a gig over the weekend. He and a number of local musicians are constantly playing things around here; they mentioned this one to me and I thought it might be fun to go because they were going to be playing Dixieland stuff.

I'm not a major fan of Dixie, but it sounded like a good time and some of these small town festivals can be a kick. However, I forgot.

A wee bit ago S (the above mentioned best friend) called to tell me all about the Catfish Festival and the wild time she had. *insert a polite cough here*

There was parade - it was an entire six blocks long! There were overpriced food booths. There was a beer tent - without a tent. "La - ti - da", thought I, "I've seen all those things before." I was happy not to have missed much.

Then she did it. She told me about the highlight of the day. There was a cow in a fenced in pen thing. The ground inside the pen was marked in a grid with squares. Anyone wanting to take part in this "fun" event could pay ten dollars for their very own square. When Bessie the Cow decided to deficate, things would get really interesting. If she choose YOUR square in which to drop her smelly goo, you would win a whopping three hundred dollars!

Hold me back, folks. It's a damn good thing I didn't go. That kind of excitement would likely cause me to have a coronary or something. S told me that the crowds began to surge around the pen as the day wore on. It seems everyone was anxiously awaiting the dropping of the pile.

They probably gave good old Bessie some anti-diarrhea medication and pocketed the loot.

Peace

PS - Don't ask why a pooping cow has anything to do with a catfish. I've been trying to figure that one out myself!

19 comments:

NysaK said...

I can't say I've ever seen cow @&$* bingo, but I have seen Chicken @#$* bingo, it goes much faster and it's quite amusing to stand around and hear people yelling "just #&$* already!" at the top of their lungs.

MABrock1980 said...

Maybe catfish are natural laxatives...?

Ooh, and how did you get that comment tracker?

Dee Jay said...

NysaK - Dang, I guess I've been living in a cave and missed all this stuff! LOL I will have to get out more often!

Bebbs - You could be on to something there! By the way, I sent you directions via email. Let me know if that works out for you. : )

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness sounds like you blew it big time. Cow crap bingo now that is a good time had by all who had too much beer from the beer tent.LOL. You really should make me laugh it still hurts ;)

Dee Jay said...

Nikkie - Hey now, next year I'll get the skinny on this ahead of time and make you come with me! How's that for a barrel of fun? LOL

Unknown said...

I can't believe you've never played cow bingo before. Especially when you have those farm day things in town.

Dee Jay said...

P - Ha, they don't do that at the Chicken Swap!

LauriesAsylum said...

It's good you missed it. It doesn't sound like my idea of a good time!

thyme said...

Haha your American traditions crack me up. Don't bother trying to tell me this is not an old american country tradition, I am not going to believe you. It was probably invented in Texas, I love it!

Anonymous said...

w00t - great blog. and i'm thrilled catfish have festivals. start a deej one.

ulla / blue / superserious etc

Alex Mcone said...

Egads! Are people so addicted to gambling that they bet on ... on ... cow-poop ?

A parade you say ? Annual parade ?

Melissa said...

Oh my goodness, you have got to be kidding me. Pooping cows in squares can win you $300? Wow...sounds like some kind of festival thing they would do around here.

Dr. Dog said...

I've seen it before. They sell squares. You choose a square, write your name on the grid and put your money down. Then the cow does what it does.

It's fair. It's natural. It's smelly.

LMC said...

Our town has cow pie bingo at least twice a year. I've never gone to watch it...but you can smell it from the store! they have it at the fire house right behind the store!

Anonymous said...

Ha! I think I would have enjoyed it! I would've loved to take a sketchbook and camera to an event like that to see what sort of crazy things happen.

Midwest Mom said...

Ha! Two years ago, we went to Metropolis, IL for the "Superman Festival" -- It sounds like the SAME event! Of course, there attendees were a pleasant mixture of semi-sane men in capes and tights and members of motorcycle gangs... We brought our 2 little superheroes to the event without realizing the slightly S+M tinge it might have.

Talk about lessons learned...

Celebrating catfish doesn't sound so crazy now, does it?? ;)

Dee Jay said...

Laurie - To be honest, I get a kick out of small town things like that one. My little town will be having their own thing in a couple of weeks. I don't think it includes pooping chickens though! :)

Thyme - LOL It was probably invented somewhere like that. I was surprised to see how many readers have already heard of things like this before. It was all new to me!

Blu - Hmmmm my very own catfish festival? I'm thinking I should post a frog festival instead. I have a ton of those in my pond!

Alex - I'm a total sap for parades; yup, the Catfish Festival is an annual thing. Maybe I'll get there next year!

Melissa - My friends did the math based on the number of squares and figured that even after paying out $300, whoever is sponsoring this fundraiser will bring in about $2000. Not bad for a pooping Bessie!

Dr. - Okay, inquiring minds want to know. Have you ever put down money on one of these squares??

LMC - LOL Based on the responses, I guess it is safe to say our state isn't the only one that does this though! I can't imagine how stinky. Ewwwwwwwwwww!

Ann - You would probably have loved something like this one! I should take some pics of my own towns little event. It really is quite quaint. I love it because I know most everyone around here now. It's like a giant town reunion!

Midwest - Yay! Thanks for stopping by! It makes me grin to see all the various celebrations they have around the country in small towns. Locally, another one is Lumberjack Days. It's always fun to go check that out. We have Judy Garland Days, Land of the Loon Days, Brickyard Days, Kalachki Days (I think I probably spelled that wrong). The list goes on and on. They are fun little things to attend at times. : )

Anonymous said...

no... a deej festival ... the festival of deej!!!

blue

Anonymous said...

Oh, this cow thing is old. I think i already see such lotery ten years ago. But it was on a soccer field, not in a pen. And yes, the cow did poop back then, helas not in my grid.