Sunday, September 16, 2007

England - BITE ME!

Okay England, you’ve made your point. You’re pissed at us about your country being dragged into Iraq by the ignorant putterhead that currently lives on Pennsylvania Avenue. However, you didn’t have to take revenge quite so cruelly.

Yes, we’ve made mistakes. Yes, you’ve had to suffer the consequences too. I just never thought you’d turn on us quite so badly. I never thought my Jolly Old England that I love so much would sink to such lows as to do what you’ve done.

Please please please forgive us and take them back.

Please?

Pretty please with sugar on top?

Please please please come and get David Beckham and his stupid wife, Posh!

I can’t take it anymore. You’ve won – I surrender.

I am tired of picking up magazines and seeing her ugly mug and reading about her amazing *insert gag* fashion sense. I really don’t give a shit why the bitch never smiles. Frankly, I am assuming she’s constantly constipated. In any case, I want her gone gone gone!

We’ve paid our dues. We’ve been forced to live through the constant hype that led to their traveling across the pond. To be honest, I don’t know anyone that gave a shit if they were coming or not. Now, the tides have changed and many are hoping he breaks an ankle and her boobies suddenly drop so they can stop garnishing the publicity that shoves them down our throats.

I never thought anyone’s annoying moment in the sun could be more nauseating than Anna Nicole Smith’s was – but the Beckham’s have topped it.

In any case – we’re sorry! Please take them back!

Peace

14 comments:

Unknown said...

That's what we get from England as revenge. A washed up soccer player and an even more washed up wife.

Please just make them go home. The idle rich in the UK can have these tools back.

Dee Jay said...

Phil - Yup!

We have enough losers grabbing headlines here, we don't need these two cluttering up the pages of People, Star, and the Enquirer too. *nodnod*

Unknown said...

Yeah, they might take up room normally saved for Britney Spears.

Dee Jay said...

Now there is a dilemma - which one makes me want to hurl more - Britney or Posh? *ponders*

Unknown said...

Britney...at least you don't see huge pics of Posh's cellulite while she chain smokes and drinks 10 Red Bulls.

Dee Jay said...

I don't know - seriously, they are equally repugnant to me. I'm sure they'll both have their moment in the sun then fade to oblivion eventually.

In the meantime - aaaaaaaargh!

Libertine said...

I don't even know who those people are or why they're famous.

MABrock1980 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MABrock1980 said...

You didn't honestly think you could make someone like George dubya a world leader and get away with it, did you?

Besides, we'll take back the Beckhams when you take back Mrs. and Mr. Madonna.

As for the question of which is more nauseating; watch BS's performance at the VMAs before casting a final verdict ;)

Anonymous said...

I did hear somewhere that they were paid a lot of money to come over here and play soccer. I watch soccer on Dish Netwwork all the time and I only get stations and games from everywhere except the US. So I have not seen him play over here yet. Has he played here yet?

lisalisabobisa said...

I like Libertine's comment...:D

MABrock1980 said...

I caught one of his L.A. Galaxy games a couple of weeks ago. It was hilarious. There was Beckham, displaying all of the world class skills that have made him such a big deal, and the rest of his team played like they'd only recently heard of 'soccer'.

It isn't much good hitting a pin-point accurate lay-up when the strikers stand around wondering why he always kicks it a couple of feet ahead of them...

LMC said...

Since the magazines are at the end of the check outs I am forced to look at them almost every day! There seems to be a revolving interest in them, Angelina and Brad, Brittney and the other pop tarts and Tom and Katie Cruise. Maybe Posh never smiles because she has looked in the mirror and found she isn't all that attractive!

Dee Jay said...

Will - Consider yourself blessed! Hell, I was at the mall today and they were on a poster! There's no escaping them.

Bebbet - I'll certainly trade you one Madonna and fam for the Beckham clan. Is she plastered all over your mags and such? *winces for you if she is*

Abe - I think he has, but I think he got hurt. I'm truly not sure. I'm not much of a soccer fan. : )

Lisa - I loved his comment as well!

Bebbet - LOL That makes sense - soccer isn't really that big over here. I'd venture to say many Americans have never watched an entire match of the pro stuff. Hell, I don't even know if my own state has a team. I think David Beckham was supposed to change all that with his mere presence.

LMC - LOLOLOLOL That one made me snicker. I wonder if that is the reason. I really don't see the attraction to her at all. Is it just me or is her head too big for her emaciated body?