Some People

**** Rant Alert ****

News flash – there are idiots among us.

Remember a long while ago when I mentioned my son’s wedding? Here’s how things have progressed thus far.

The kids decided they wanted a small, intimate family wedding among the gardens in my yard. Last spring I started really going bonkers to make sure everything was going to be glorious; I wanted their day to be wonderful.

The bride’s mother, K, then fired off her guest list and this “small” wedding was suddenly up to 150 guests. This just isn’t a possibility for my yard. There isn’t enough room to park that many cars, I only have two bathrooms, I would have to rent tents, chairs, and all that jazz. The kids, my hub (A), and I sat down and decided it would be best to move it to a gorgeous park nearby. From there, we would have a reception at a local place in town.

The kids were tickled by this and we went on to planning food and all the rest. I know my son’s fiancé’s family isn’t rolling in the bucks, so we offered to help pay for things. I realize that tradition says the bride’s family pays, but we can afford to help out. Nothing Ms. Fiancé was picking out was expensive; things were simple, but classy. All was right with the world.

Suddenly, the wedding was being called off by the kids. The fiancé’s family announced they couldn’t afford to pay for anything other than the decorations. A and I stepped in and said we’d pay for the dinner, the clergy, the park rental, the reception building rental, the linen, the music, etc. We wanted the kids to have a nice wedding.

Within a couple of days Ms. Fiancé called me with a new issue. Her mother told her that some people may not be able to afford to buy drinks if we have a cash bar AND it is the groom’s family’s responsibility to buy a keg for the reception. I was stunned. Excuse me? It would seem all “tradition” went out the window when they stepped back and had the groom’s family paying for almost everything!

To have any alcohol served at the reception involves me putting it on my homeowner’s insurance which means a rise in rates for the month. Additionally, I have to hire a cop to be there the entire time and contract with one of three bars to bring in and serve the booze. To me it was a no-brainer. After checking with the kids, I decided to have a dry reception. We are serving coffee and punch.

Meanwhile Ms. Fiancé’s mom was scrounging through rummage sales buying “decorations”. I saw them today; we’re using them, but adding wee bits to try to dress them up a bit. I don’t want to step on toes and I don’t want Ms. Fiancé stuck in a rough spot with her mom.

A few days ago Ms. Fiancé told me she was having difficulty saying no to her mom who now was demanding we also host a dance and have a bar. I asked Ms. Fiancé if this is what SHE wanted, and she said no, but her mom was being insistent. Argh! I told Ms. Fiancé it was time that I talked to her mom and explained the financial situation to her. God, I am leaving out so much – but suffice it to say, these people seem to think I have unlimited funds to spend so they can entertain all these people they are inviting!

This morning I met with the caterer. Thank goodness I have known this person for years. K, the mom, lives 120 miles away – last week she “just happened” to be in the small town where we live and decided to stop by and check things out herself.

First she and her hubby crashed a wedding reception that was going on at the place where we are holding the kids’ reception. They went in, went to the bar, and asked the bartender how they go about getting beer at their daughter’s wedding reception. The bartender is a previous student of mine, and he sent them off with the name of the caterer who is just down the street.

From there they went to the caterer’s place and asked about beer. He told them I’d only requested punch and coffee; they said there had to be beer there and looked into booking that as well – all on my dime. Then they complained about the menu Ms. Fiancé and I chose. They wanted it changed to something more expensive – again on my dime. He told them he wouldn’t change anything until he spoke to me, and let them know he was meeting with me on Wednesday morning.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Who the hell are these people? I could see if I’d met them before and had been mean, snotty, bitchy, horrible, etc. No, I have NEVER met them and NEVER even spoken to them. Instead of calling me with concerns or suggestions or anything else, they are scampering around behind my back spending my money!

Can they afford to help out? You tell me. They have a very nice home, a boat, a lake house, four-wheelers, and snowmobiles. I’m thinking they could kick in a couple hundred bucks if not more. In the meantime, I cancelled two summer trips am putting off some dental work and am scrambling to make sure everything is nice for the kids AND within my budget.

I am furious beyond belief.

I’m proud of myself for NOT taking this out on Ms. Fiancé and telling her that her family is made up of first class jerks. It’s not her fault and they have treated her like shit all her life. They do nothing for her, spend very little time with her, and couldn’t be bothered to come see her when she was in the intensive care unit for a week a few years back. It’s not her fault they are like this; she loves them and so wants to be loved by them. It’s really very sad.

K never called me – surprise surprise. Tonight was the night she said she’d call to discuss wedding plans. I think my sister-in-law hit the nail on the head when she said it seems they want to have some splashy wedding to show off for their friends and family. After all, it’s not like they have to tell anyone they are barely doing a thing to put it together – most will assume the bride’s family did the wedding.

I practiced my diplomatic, nicely sweet little discussion with her in my head all evening. I was ready to be nice, but firm when I let her know that I wouldn’t take on the responsibility of booze at the reception. My suggestion was going to be that they reserve the place, put it all in their name, pay for it, and I’d still pay for everything else and the food – the food that Ms. Fiancé and I already selected.

Nothing – no call!

Argh!
What to do, what to do? I am trying so hard to walk a fine line here and make sure the day is wonderful for the kids. I don’t want squabbles between families to ruin things for them. Even so, I really want to plant my fist between the woman’s eyes.

Whatcha thing, blogger buddies? Shall I smack her or remain sweetly serene when I finally meet the wench?

Peace

*whispers* If you’re still with me, thanks for taking the time to read this long long entry. I am just soooooooooooooo frustrated with all this right now!